No one would argue that Weddings hold a lot of expectations for everyone involved. If your expectations are too high this can equal massive disappointment and stress. Is that what you want for your special day? Of course not, so here are some tips to turn the Organizing of your wedding into a fun filled journey where the whole experience leading up to your wedding is memorable, not just the wedding day itself!
Essentials!!!
Many people create unnecessary stress by leaving things to the last minute and by not delegating enough. Create your own agenda. Get yourself a Planner and start making notes about what you want and what you need to do to make it happen. Organize your TO-DO’s with an ABC priority listing. ‘A’- being the most important.
Shared Vision and Compromise
Have a chat early in the piece about what you and your partner both envisage your wedding day to be like. Girls are often much more specific about this, but that’s not to say males don’t have distinct things they would like or would rather NOT have as part of their wedding memory. Check that you are both on the same page and compromise where necessary to both be happy about the upcoming day and all the preparations to come.
Non-active Partner
Let’s face it – most guys aren’t overly concerned about flower arrangements or who sits where and why. Accepting the way your partner is if they fit into this category and not trying to turn them into a gay version of themselves is imperative if you want to avoid preventable arguments. This is not a reflection of his love for you. If you want the big “WOW” wedding, but they aren’t fazed by the sort of wedding you have as long as you get married, then you will have to accept responsibility for most of the organizing. It doesn’t have to be an issue unless you make it one. Guys are best suited to practical jobs, so allocate those jobs to your partner if they fit into this category.
Money
Everything about a wedding and what you want to do and can afford to comes down to how much you have to spend. This often hinges on whether both, one or none of your parents contribute to the costs. I have heard many couples say they wish they had paid their own way for their wedding – with perhaps a token amount (for the band or something else specific), so that they had more control and say over what they wanted. Couples often feel obliged to invite everyone on their parents list because they are paying. You often can’t have as many friends as you would have liked in this case and have a lot of older generation people who you barley know instead. Which would you rather? An open an honest conversation about these concerns can help prevent any problems here.
Wedding Ceremony, Reception & Date
Organize where you want your wedding and reception to be held. Dates can be tricky to coincide so again, be prepared to compromise in some areas to keep the ball rolling. If you do not get your ‘ideal’ location remember that it’s not where you get married but who you are marrying that matters. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Outsourcing Help
Many of us have a family member or friend who lives for organizing things. Without taking advantage by offloading everything onto them, ask if they would like to help out. Be sure to reward them for their efforts after the event and acknowledge them on the night. Just because it comes naturally to them doesn’t mean it’s not an effort to fit into their lives. Outsourcing the whole process is of course another option. If you have the resources to cover the luxury of having your own wedding planner, and particularly if you are a bit of a stress head, this will make a big difference to your enjoyment of the whole process.
Contacts
Create another spreadsheet with all your wedding helper contacts such as the florist, the hotel, DJ, caterer, transportation, photographer etc for quick and easy reference and to jot down notes along the way.
Invitations
Print a list of all guests and their contact details, if you prefer to have a hard copy of this rather than do it on the computer, so you can easily address invitations and tick off those able to attend. Invitations don’t need to cost the earth these days to look really beautiful. Research online what is out there for a lovely selection of stationary.
Bridesmaids
Many people are choosing not to have bridesmaids these days, so don’t feel pressured to have any if you would prefer not to. For those with lots of friends whom you cannot possibly all invite – sometimes it’s easier to go solo to not put any noses out of joint. If you do choose to have bridesmaids however, keep in mind it is supposed to be a pleasurable non stressful experience for them too. We’ve all had friends who have been bridesmaids for nightmare brides who make them buy ridiculously expensive dresses that can never be worn again because they are so frightful, along with matching hideous shoes. NOT the experience you want to give them. Don’t be hell bent on color or style because it may be difficult to find and suit the different body shapes your friends have. Be flexible with this and for example let your bridesmaids wear a pair of their own dressy black shoes rather than having to buy a new pair that match. If you want special things that are above and beyond what is normally required you need to be prepared to cover the cost. Make this clear if this is the way you choose to go so they don’t fret behind the scenes about what it’s going to cost them!
Wedding Cake
There are heaps of amazing cake designs out there. If this is important to you then have fun with the picking (and tasting!) If you aren’t particularly fazed by the type size or color of your cake, (as I wasn’t) you can always ask around for a good home based cake-maker to do it for half the cost. Just make sure you double check the time and date that you need to pick up or have the cake delivered.
Guest List/ Floor Plan
Organize your guest list early on. It’s simple to create an excel spread sheet to jot down everyone who has been invited and then you can ‘bold’ the ones that reply Yes to coming, and move elsewhere the ones that aren’t. The biggest tip you can take on board is to not stress over the floor plan. As with everything with life you can never keep everyone happy so don’t even try. If someone is immature enough to be upset about not being on the same table as someone then boo-hoo to them. It is a difficult task and most people will appreciate you have done your best to accommodate everyone.
Flowers & Decorations
Keep everything simple. Go easy on the flowers – having a few simple arrangements strategically placed looks very stylish and won’t cost the earth.
Food/Catering & Alcohol
You would be surprised by how much you can get your catering/reception managers to compromise on what you are initially told are ‘set’ menu plans. Like anything in life, there is usually room for some negotiating. If the thought of doing this scares you to bits, then enlist the help of someone who is good at it and knows what they are talking about – and knows what your ideal end-result is. Any saving is a good one.
Gift Registries
Having a gift registry is such a good idea. We all have so much ‘stuff’ already these days is it simply a waste to leave it to the lap of the gods what someone else wants to give you. It may well end up hidden in the cupboard for years or taken straight to the Charity shop. Make your gifts count. I still remember the lovely guests that gave us a pair of hair clippers to cut my husband’s hair – not your average present but obviously something we wanted that no one would have known otherwise and we have had many good years use out of them.
Wedding Favors
In this day and age it isn’t necessary to have party favors for each guest, since hardly anyone keeps them anyway. Just giving your special helpers an appropriate gift is enough.
Speeches and Master of Cermonies
Give your speech-makers a clear guideline about how long you would like their speech to be. Ten minutes is often plenty -unless they are experienced speakers and can hold their own. If you think they may want guidelines on speeches we recommend the following eBook as an excellent resource – This easy-to-read guide to a successful wedding reception includes all the essential information you need to be the perfect Master of Ceremonies Click Here!
Guest Book
It’s a lovely keepsake to have for the future. If this is too formal for you a modern day version of this is the Video Diary. Have one of your friend’s film people on the night saying something about you both. As the night wears on the comments can be quite amusing indeed!
Music
Live music is preferable for a more intimate feel, but the right DJ can get any party happening and everyone up dancing, so whatever suits your budget. With the abundance of music available on the internet, it’s easily to create your own selection to play at your wedding too.
Photography
Photographers often have their own unique style, so be sure to look at their folio of work and tell them what your preference is. It’s a great idea to organize a group shot of all your family and friends on your special day.
Transport
This is when it comes in very handy to have friends (or your parent’s friends in our case) who have luxury cars. My mum and dad have a few friends with Mercedes Benzes, so we simply asked if we could use their cars on the day and saved ourselves a packet and looked a million dollars at the same time. They don’t have to be fancy cars – any car that is the same color/type looks good when jazzed up with the wedding ribbon on the front.
Accommodation
Make a shortlist of accommodation places for every budget, so that your guest can easily, call to book their accommodation. Let your closest friends know where you are staying before everyone else, so they can book there too.
The After-party Party
These days the newly married couple often party on to the wee hours, not content to go home when the oldies are ready to leave. Most venues close around midnight, so pre-arranging a location for the after party is a good idea. A bride out clubbing in her wedding dress is often not a good look, especially if a lot of alcohol has been consumed. A close friends house or Hotel suite is a good location for a get together with your closest friends. Make sure that you organize to stock the fridge with alcohol beforehand so that there isn’t a mad rush to get some late that night and so that your friends aren’t left out of pocket.
Money saving ideas
There are many ways you can save some extra dollars for example: going to discount bridal store for your dress; getting a friend to make the wedding cake, getting a friend to take photos, and another to take video footage; printing your own invitations etc.
Honeymoon
Organize at least 1-2 days grace before going anywhere for your honeymoon. Jet-setting somewhere the next day can be exhausting and doesn’t allow you to reflect on your special day and all the details that may fade into oblivion unless you have time to ponder them. Then relax and enjoy!!Remember to enjoy the whole experience from start to finish including the honeymoon -that shouldn’t be too hard!! Then…. the whole “Happy Ever After.”
“Organize your life” to create space and time for you and those you love. Ensure you have the balance in management of yourself, Family, Home, Work, and Finance in your daily routine.
http://www.organizeyourlife.com.au – Author – Claire McFee
This is one of a handy set of “how to articles” accompaniment to the “Organize your life system”, which in simple terms is a complete set of headed lists from the main areas of our lives, Family, Home, Work, Finance, Personal, each list comes with tips and links to manage every thing from the mundane to the most important.
For change to occur in your life; you must take action beyond downloading this article, you must read it, then set yourself an easy to follow plan. Then “Do It” Claire loves helping people achieve a healthier more balanced life though better organization and also through preventative health measures. Claire has a lot of success with publicity for her business including being featured on TV several times, plus numerous feature articles in news papers and magazines of note.